Keeping Our At-Risk Youth Out of Prison - Point 1
Over the next few weeks on vox.com, I will be doing a series of entries about “Keeping At-Risk Youth out of Prison.” Many in society and city officials look solely to decorated tenured faculty for answers on methods to keep our youth out of prison. Then, there are those who conduct studies but have never visited prisons themselves, let alone, visited their own incarcerated family members. I strongly believe that the best way to deter our youth is to hear the voices of those behind prison walls. Many incarcerated are willing to reach out and give back, but they have been told that they are a menace to society. My goal is to share my thoughts in order to help those parents who need ideas about reaching out to their at-risk son or daughter. Sure, I believe we need more “Scared Straight” programs, which are organized visits to prisons for at-risk teens. Until we have more programs, here is what I believe parents can do today.
Point #1: Pay Attention.
Some parents are so busy with building a foundation for their teenagers that parents have lost focus on the things that really matter. Just look at the most recent high profile celebrity teens or young adults who have served time in jail this year; and you will see what I mean. Parent’s patience is tested time and time again because of their teenager’s sprouting and inquisitive minds. Answering the questions who, what, when, where, why, and how makes a tremendous difference. The reason why is simple. Youth trust those who satisfy their curiosity. If you are calling me crazy, then that’s good. I’ve sparked your interest.
Not until I questioned my past did this truth become apparent. When I asked myself, “What did I really want out of relationships with adults when I was a teen?” “How did I end up trusting others more than even some family members?” As a teenager, I turned to those who took the time to answer my questions. Parents talk about having a “date night” with their spouse or significant other. When was the last time you had a one on one dinner with your son or daughter? Taking the time out for just the two of you to address concerns and answer questions makes a difference. I’m not talking about drilling your teen with questions. I’m talking about a penalty-free conversation. I’m convinced you have to do this before you find the gold “grill,” which you didn’t buy, hidden in the back of your teen’s dresser drawer. By the time you find the "grill" or something worst, your son or daughter is already having their questions answered by someone else.
So to all parents and teenagers, shut down the computer, turn off the TV, stop playing Video Games, and hang up the cell phone. Look at the activity calendar on the refrigerator and pick a night bi-weekly to take your son or daughter out to dinner, just the two of you, one on one. You will be surprised the things you will learn from each other after a few weeks of this new family ritual.
Check back for Point 2.
Peace,
Kevin M. Weeks, Author
The Street Life Series
The Street Life Series: Is It Suicide or Murder? ISBN: 1425711049
The Street Life Series: Is Passion or Revenge? Coming Winter 2007-2008
